Actual clippings from Church Newspapers

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by: Timothy
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Word Count: 426
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 2009 Time: 10:18 PM
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• Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
• Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
• Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
• Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
• "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
• Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
• The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
• The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoy sinning to join the choir.
• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
• Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
• The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
• Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. Prayer and medication to follow.
• The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement."

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